10 Ways to Annoy Twilight Characters
by officiallyemmett
Summary: Your top 10 ways to annoy your favorite Twilight characters. Humans...vampires...werewolves...or even two of them combined ;
1. Jessica

**Jessica**

1) Remind her she was Mike's _second_ choice.

2) Remind her about that day after the movie where Bella could have gotten both of them killed by talking to the strange men.

3) Remind her that the "new girl" got gorgeous Edward Cullen and he didn't show any interest in her.

4) Tell her that Bella was more special since she threw an awesome graduation party.

5) Remind her Bella is better than her by making it into Dartmouth.

6) Remind her that Mike, Eric, Tyler, Edward, and Jacob all would rather have Bella than her.

7) Tell her that if Bella hadn't told Mike to ask Jessica out, he never would have.

8) Call her boring.

9) Tell her that Bella is friends with the most beautiful people (coughvampirescough) in school.

10) Just flat-out tell her that you like Bella better.


	2. Mike

**Mike**

1) Remind him that Bella doesn't like him.

2) Tell him Bella would rather love a monster than him.

3) Remind him of that day in the theaters when he got sick.

4) Tell him that day was disgusting.

5) Tell him that was probably why Bella didn't like him.

6) Everytime you see him say "Hi Newton Boy!"

7) Tell him that his future is cashier in his family's hiking store.

8) Tell him you like Eric better.

9) Remind him that he's not Bella's first or second choice.

10) Ask him why he kept hogging the ball during gym and why he didn't let Bella play. And tell him he's a selfish, attention hog!


	3. Emmett

**Emmett **

1) Remind him that he lost in a wrestling match to a girl.

2) Tell him Edward was suppose to be Rosalie's husband.

3) Tell him you like Volvo better than Jeep.

4) Say that you think Edward is cooler because he has a power.

5) Say that you like Edward better because he is better looking.

6) Say that you think Jasper is cooler because he has a power.

7) Say that you like Jasper better because he is better looking.

8) Remind him that Rosalie was engaged to Royce King.

9) Remind him he only became a vampire because he reminded her of a baby.

10) Remind him that he is not allowed to make fun of Bella anymore because he lost the wrestling match.


	4. Rosalie

**Rosalie**

1) Call her Blondie.

2) Call her Barbie doll.

3) Tell her you think Bella is prettier.

4) Remind her Edward didn't want her in the family.

5) Think of every blonde joke and feed it to her.

6) Remind her about how she almost caused Edward to die.

7) Call her "big mouth" for calling Edward before Alice could confirm Bella was dead.

8) Tell her she is too materialistic.

9) Remind her she can never have a baby and Renesmee isn't hers.

10) Invite the werewolves over and tell Jacob to take Renesmee away from Rosalie.


	5. Edward

5) Tell him that was probably why Bella didn't like him.

**Edward**

1) Ask him if you can hear his voice if you start riding motorcycles.

2) Tell him he's selfish for taking Bella's life away.

3) Think about you and him being a couple while around him.

4) Remind him about Bella's depression when he left in New Moon.

5) Jump in front of a car and say "Save me Edward!"

6) Ask him if you can have one of the many diamonds his mom left for him. If he says no, call him selfish.

7) Tell him you think Tayna and Rosalie are prettier than Bella.

8) Ask him if he likes blondes. If he says "no" call him hair-color-bias. If he says "yes" then call Tayna.

9) Call him "Grandpa Eddie."

10) Ask him if he can read your mind. If he says "yes," tell him he's weird and there's something wrong with him. If he says "no," say that it's because you're just like Bella and insist he should marry you.

* * *

BONUS: Five more because of all the reviews and support I've been getting.

Thanks guys, I really mean it. :)

11) Tell him Bella smells the same to you as any other human.

12) Whenever he's around think really loudly, "I LOVE YOU EDWARD! I LOVE YOU EDWARD! I LOVE YOU EDWARD!"

13) Tell him that you think werewolves smell nice.

14) Ask him if he thinks it's creepy that Jacob will be his son-in-law.

15) When he's around, think about how good Bella's blood smells.


	6. Alice

**Alice **

1) Ask Alice if she can see Jacob's future. When she says she can't, keep telling her she's prejudice against werewolves.

2) Take her credit cards away.

3) Tell her that you think her style is ugly.

4) Ask her if she could see you and her becoming best friends. If she says yes, claim that she's ditching Bella and hang around the Cullen house 24/7. If she says no, says that she's being mean and prejudice against humans.

5) Insist that all people should get married at Vegas.

6) Ask her why she's so short and use her as shoulder rest.

7) Tell her it's no fun styling spiky hair and keep on insisting that she grow it longer even though she can't.

8) Tell her to eat candy. When she says she doesn't eat, ask her why she's so hyper.

9) Tell her she's too pale and take her to a tanning salon.

10) Ask her if she ever wishes that her style was as good as Bella's.


	7. Carlisle

**Carlisle**

1) Tell him you're graduating next week and you want to be changed.

2) Go to him and say "Hey Blondie!"

3) Ask him how LA was.

4) Ask him what it feels like to be a grandpa.

5) Throw things at him while calling him "uncool because he has no super powers."

6) Remind him his compassion is not cool enough to be a super power.

7) Ask him how it's like raising 5 teenagers.

8) Buy him some parenting books and tell him that you think he gives his teenagers too much freedom.

9) Keep asking again and again why his son was "technically" older that his mother.

10) Trip over things purposely so you can visit him in the hosipital. Tell him that.


	8. Jasper

**Jasper**

1) Ask him why he would kill Bella at her own birthday party.

2) Ask him why he's so EMO all the time.

3) Get ketchup and ask him"Would like to attack me? I've got something red and delicious!"

4) Ask him how many people he killed before.

5) Tell him that you killed zero.

6) Tell him that Bella, the newborn has more self-control that him.

7) Ask him what super power he has. When he says he can control feelings ask him if he's a girl, tell him that its not as cool as mind-reading.

8) Tell him when your birthday is and if he wants to go to your party, he'll have to bring his own blood to drink and your friend's blood is off limits.

9) Yell "PAPERCUT!"

10) Go to him and yell "Yes Sir! I will bring you the people with papercuts sitting in the nurse's office.


End file.
